Why Batman Vs. Superman Would Be 15 Seconds Long - Or Less

There's a lot of buzz in the media about a Warner Bros. project known as Batman vs. Superman.  Really?  It would be the shortest movie they ever made.   There's a meme around our half smart that Batman could somehow actually fight Superman or even beat Superman.  People who think so are stupid and here are some reasons why.

*Superman is a super humanoid from another planet, Batman is a millionaire in tights.

*Superman is, by court precedent (NP vs. Fawcett) the most powerful being in comics.  Batman is still just a millionaire in tights.

*Among Superman's many abilities is heat ray vision.  In less than 15 seconds he could focus that on Batman and kill him.

*Among Superman's many abilities is x-ray vision.  If he was cruel, and he is not, he could focus that on Batman and give him a slow agonizing death.

*Among Superman's many abilities is super cold breath.  He could literally freeze Batman to death in 15 seconds or less.

*Superman also has super speed.  And genii, that means that Superman could get to Batman and nullify him before he could even open his lead box full of kryptonite.

*Superman also has super strength, which combined with his super speed, could create a punch so massive and powerful it would kill Batman instantly.

*Superman could squeeze Batman to death.

*Superman could pull Batman's head off.

* Superman can also fly.  He could easily grab Batman by the cape and fly him up where Batman would suffocate.  

*Superman could also drop Batman from an unsurvivable height.

*Superman could also drop enormous and unsurvivable objects on Batman.

*Superman can also run or fly around Batman at such a rate that all air would leave Batman's body and he'd crumble like a an aluminum can in a vacuum tube.

*Superman could also just pick him up and throw him into the sun.

*In fact Batman only lives by Superman's grace.  It takes a massive conceit to think he brings anything to their punishment or that he could even land a punch or even a Bat-a-rang in a dust up with the Kryptonian.

*In short, there are dozens of irresistible ways that Superman can kill Batman.

And with Ben Affleck scheduled to play Batman in the purported project, Superman might just feel like it.